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Monday, April 9, 2012

Beating the Homesickness Blues: First Holiday

If you've spent any time talking to me, texting me, emailing me, or even looking at my Facebook status, then you would know that I've been struggling with the big H.  That's homesickness, not hemorrhoids, Internet.  I'm aware that pretty much everyone from my life (DC Metro and Atlanta) is tired of listening to me complain about it and one brave soul today challenged me asking what exactly it was that I was so homesick over.  (Note if this isn't funny enough for you, don't click the line break and read on.  I'll post a regularly scheduled rage entry tomorrow for your entertainment.)


Internet, the answer to that isn't simple.  I miss spontaneous Target trips with my best friend who LIVED.DOWN.THE.STREET.  I miss going over to my college roommates house to see all of her hard work in her garden.  I miss all of the craziness of the Jiffy Lube Live country concerts with Laurel.  I miss seeing the children of friends go through all their milestones.  I miss driving an hour and some change and being at the Chesapeake Bay eating crabs with my dad and grandmother and brother.  I miss driving an hour the other way to lay out at my mom's pool.  I miss ordering Paisano's for dinner (steak and cheese sub, no onions) and having it delivered to my apartment door without the fear that the delivery man was going to kidnap me.  I miss getting turned around and knowing the back way home instead of wandering around until Google Maps figures out where I am.  I miss being a subject matter expert at work and having someone to take a walk with in the afternoons when stress was running high.  I miss the seasons --- oh man do I miss the seasons.  The anticipation of snow was one of my favorite feelings in the world.

Homesickness is a hard feeling to describe because it kind of feels like that awful punched in the stomach feeling after a break-up.  You carry it around with the lump in your throat and every Virginia license plate or even songs on the radio makes it just a little bit bigger until either tears spring to your eyes or you decide you need to go sit at a bar and drink.  I've found that women do the former and men do the latter.  I've talked to other people about their experience with adult homesickness and they've all said various things.  One person said that I should try to make frequent trips back so that I still feel that connection with home.  Another person said that the hardest thing is finding a group of friends that you fit into since most people stick with their friends from college, high school, or significant others' friend group and that you should stay in town because the loneliness forces you to make friends.  Another person said that the later months of the first year are harder than the first few months because people have settled into their new routines without you and so you're not the first person they think of when they have a story to tell or an event to go to.  My primary care physican even told me that she dealt with homesickness when she was in residency across the country from her home and she just worked herself to death so she wouldn't think about it.  But my favorite piece of advice (or wisdom) was that it's ok to be homesick and eventually you just get used to the feeling and your relationships become closer in spite of it.

With all that being said, this weekend was my first holiday A-L-O-N-E:


No friends from home, no family, just me.  I know a lot of people don't celebrate Easter but we always had a family dinner (on both sides of my family) so I tried to keep the weekend busy.  Lots of errands on Friday, hiking (wtf, me?) on Saturday at Sweet Water Creek State Park, and dinner at a friend's on Sunday. 

How was it?  Surprisingly, it went ok.  I tried not to think about Easter until Sunday and I definitely had a teary eyed moment Sunday morning as I was trying to buy a hostess gift and get dressed.  Fortunately that moment was interrupted with first a text from the best friend and then an email from my aunt.  I also heard from my mom, dad, and grandmother later in the day, which made me feel closer to home.  Dinner was fantastic and my friend was very gracious and excited to have me over, which was a little contagious, and so I generally felt OK.

I know a lot of you have been emailing and commenting and facebook-ing your responses so tell me --- what did you do to beat the after-college homesick blues?!

2 comments:

  1. hang in there megan! i get homesick for DC too! and technically i moved "home"!!! the irony, right? the good sign is, "home" will always be there. and when you can't always go to that place you miss, it's healthy and GOOD to have great memories of that place and the people there. even if those memories make you sad sometimes. you know me, i deal with any sort of "blues" by spending money...not something i would advise! but always knowing the next time i was visiting and counting down, for some reason, made it more bareable. xo

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  2. i was never really homesick for alabama when in dc, but now i am homesick for dc! it is tough. thinking of you!!!!

    i'm attempting to deal with my homesickness by working out a lot! (doctor's recommendation) i also do A LOT of baking :)

    or we could ALL deal with it by just moving back to dc?!?!

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